mikeyruh:

angels-and-angles:

As defined by urban dictionary, the friendzone is…

“When you are expected to support a girlyou really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, and more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do without feeling like a dick. All in all,one of the meanest things a girl can do, whether they mean it or not.”

and ”The perennial location ofnice guyseverywhere.”

Although this hypothetical situation could work both ways, friendzone is almost always applied to a man who is rejected by a woman. Therefore, there is something inherently unequal, something inherently sexist about the term “friendzone”. But what and why?

From my experience, this is what friend zone is. A “nice guy” pursues a woman, but isn’t forward with his intentions from the get-go like, say, a “jerk”. The woman is pleased to see a man who is interested in hernot as a sexual object but as a human beingand wishes for things to stay that way. The man is not satisfied with seeing the woman as a human being becausebeing “expected to support a girl” is a bad deal if she’s not putting out.

Before I delve into the sociological aspects of this, I just want to point out that ”friendzone” is no more pleasant for a woman than it is a man. First, that is to sayunrequited love works both ways, but the person who doesn’t return affections is considered mean only when she’s a woman. And second, what option does the woman have in a traditional “friendzone” situation? Just stop talking to a close friend to avoid “leading him on”? In high school, I found out my best friend of 2 years liked me. Having to tell him I didn’t feel the same way and being immediately ex-communicated via Facebook status (“Thanks for wasting my time”) was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. Were our two years of friendship invalid because I didn’t want anything more? Was all our time together really wasted because there was no hypothetical pay off?

Guys who do this and claim to be “nice guys” are the worst misogynists because of their sense of entitlement toward a woman. They make investments in property and expect their dividends. They are fake friends. They are selfish. And they will jump at the chance to vilify you and victimize themselves when their attempts at manipulation don’t work. Clearly, “friendzone” is the remnant of a phenomenon that has plagued women since the beginning of time: women are not independent creatures. Our love lives exist only in the context of a man’s desire. When we make independent decisions, we are subject to a host of derogatory terms. “Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”.

lool should I make a shirt with huge impact type sayin no such thing as nice guys? Haha

(via 70savage)

whatwhiteswillneverknow:

I’m not segregating from you. But sometimes, I want to be around people who I can relax around.

Sometimes I want to be around people who will not oppress me, be it by accident, or on purpose.

Sometimes, I want to be around people who understand, fully, 100%, what I’m going through, because they go through it too.

Sometimes, I want to be around someone who will not make me aware of my race, and how I stand out on this campus, or anywhere else in this world that I might go.

Sometimes, I want to be around people who won’t make me feel like I don’t belong.

White friends, I’m not segregating myself from you. It’s just that sometimes, I need a break. Because I know that you mean well. And I know that you’re trying your best to avoid racism in its most simple form. But your white privilege. And having to deal with you exercising it tires me out. And having to constnatly think about battles because I have to choose which ones to fight, and which things to let slide, tires me out. And it’s not pleasant. And it’s not fun.

So when I run to the arms of people who look like me, and we all sit together for lunch, or hang out, or study together, we’re not segregating from the white population. We’re taking a break from white privilege, and pretending, just for a second, that we’re not under your feet.

Question to pose back: why do you hang out with old high school friends? Why are you more likely to clump with your friends from your frat or sorority or with people who also love going outdoors or people who also love cooking?

Because you have something in common.

It’s completely natural to want to hang out with people you share a common history or interest with. So why do you have to make it about people of color making a reaction to YOU? Why do you think that everything we do is to in reference to you? Isn’t it possible that we have some sort of agency and that we can define ourselves without reference to Caucasian people?

(via wtfwhiteprivilege)